Guest blog by Charlotte Underwood
I talk often about my relationship with my husband as since I have been in this whirlwind, my mental health has made milestones of improvement. Now, I never like to preach or say that a relationship will fix your problems or make life better because that is not the case (though it can lead to happy memories).
The thing is, is that it’s not so much the relationship that has helped me, it’s what has come from meeting my partner and the lesson he reminded me off. He came into my life so suddenly but from day one, he reminded me that I am fine how I am, that I do not need to change or be someone else.
I had spent so many years, before my husband, trying to fit in, to impress others or be the perfect girlfriend. I was desperate to be loved and I though the only way that could happen was if I made others happy, even if it meant being entirely miserable.
It was so simple, what my husband did. He just showed me so much respect. Not once did he ask me to change or be someone else. Not once did he pressure about my past, my intentions or into any situations that may leave me uncomfortable. Not once did he judge or complain over my past and the mistakes that I had once made. All he cared about was who I was, truly and where we could go from that day forward.
Respect is free and really is quite easy to relay. It seems mad to me that so many issues could be solved if we all gave eachother just a little bit more respect, why don’t we.
The effects of this respect which my husband has given me has been life changing.
I have stopped smoking
I have stopped binge drinking
I no longer spend every night crying
I don’t hide my past
I’m not ashamed of who I am
So, a little bit of human empathy has really made me healthier and happier, and yes, it came from a romantic partner but that’s not to say it can’t come from someone else in your life. Who says that we just can’t all give each-other more respect outside the family or our friends, why not be more respectful to the guy who runs the local?
My one bit of advice would be to stop searching for others to accept you. Only allow those in your life who are in love with your soul and will be there for you no matter what. Life is too short to fill it with toxic people. It’s simple maths really: People + Respect – Toxicity = better wellbeing.
You can read more from Charlotte here